If you ever daydreamed during your 1990s office job, 90s style puzzler SpreadCheat might just rekindle a few memories…
Right, let me tell you, the 90s. My 90s. It was a symphony of beige. Beige walls, beige computers, and most definitely, beige spreadsheets. Day in, day out, it was me, my trusty 386, and enough rows and columns to make your eyes water. Formulas, functions, formatting… oh, the formatting! If I never see another Arial 10 font again, it’ll be too soon.
The highlight of the week? Maybe when Brenda from accounts brought in her slightly stale lemon drizzle cake. Thrilling stuff, I tell you. Absolutely riveting.
So, imagine my surprise when I stumbled across this… thing online. Apparently, some folks over in Norway – land of fjords and presumably less soul-crushing office jobs – have decided to immortalize our 90s corporate existence. And how, you ask? With a game.
A puzzle game about… spreadsheets
They’re calling it SpreadCheat. Honestly, the name alone makes me snort into my lukewarm coffee (yes, even the coffee was beige). They’re saying it’s for “Excel enthusiasts” and “corporate climbers.” Enthusiasts? Mate, the only enthusiasm I had for Excel was when it was Friday afternoon and I could finally close the damn thing down. And corporate climbers? The only climbing I did was onto the chair every morning.
But then I read on. This isn’t just about adding up numbers, apparently. It’s set in a “toxic 90’s work environment.” Toxic? Oh, they have no idea. The passive-aggressive Post-it notes were just the tip of the iceberg. But then they mention battling malware (remember those glorious floppy disk viruses?), cleaning up “chaotic desktops” (mine was a monument to organized chaos, thank you very much), and even fixing your boss’s “cursed PowerPoint.”
Now, that last one… that resonates. Hours I’ve wasted trying to make those dreadful bullet points line up. Hours I’ll never get back. Maybe, just maybe, this game understands the real struggles.
SpreadCheat featues a Clippy-esque character
And the soundtrack? They’re promising “crispy feelings of the web 1.0-era.” Oh god, the dial-up modem screech. The MIDI files that sounded like a dying cat. It’s all flooding back.
Follow Gaming Retro on Google News to get the latest retro gaming news in your feed.
They’ve even got a Clippy-esque assistant called Corpy! Unlike many, I was fond of that paperclip… but it’s fair to say it turned up in a few dreams. Then again, so did “DOOM Guy.”
Look, I’m not saying I’m going to rush out and buy this SpreadCheat on Steam. It’s probably just some modern-day nonsense that doesn’t truly capture the sheer, unadulterated monotony of it all. But a tiny part of me, a very small, beige-tinged part, is intrigued.
Could this be a way to finally make sense of those endless hours staring at cells? Could it be a chance to relive the… unique charm of a 90s office without the actual soul-crushing workload?
Tot up the SpreadCheat
The publishers of SpreadCheat are offering a launch discount – $6.99 down to something less. Definitely still more than I earned in an hour back then.
Maybe I’ll take a peek. Just for old time’s sake. See if they’ve managed to capture the existential dread of a Friday afternoon print job that inevitably jammed the dot-matrix printer.
Who knows? Maybe this SpreadCheat will be the unexpected highlight of my 2025. Though, let’s be honest, the bar isn’t exactly set high. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear the faint whirring of a 5.25-inch floppy drive in my memory… and it’s oddly… comforting?
SpreadCheat is coming to Steam on May 5th. You can find more information and even request a press key (if you’re into that sort of thing) in the links above.
Affiliate Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through those links. This comes at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support!
This writer contributes retro gaming news to the site.
We collect the most important retro gaming news and articles and send them to you weekly, absolutely free.
